I have a lovely friend who is a tea-lover, great pancake maker, and a wonderful mother, who often asks me “How’s it going?”. Now, whenever I am asked that I launch into my usual monologue: Weather’s nice, got summer tires on the car, made a great crockpot chili for supper, Ayce had a seizure last week but is up 200 grams since last month, am almost caught up on laundry, husband’s commute is going easier with the early morning sun, etc. etc. Then this friend asks me, “And what are you doing for yourself?”. Huh. Good question.
I used to read a lot. Now, with Ayce in my arms 50% of my waking hours and his stimulation and therapy taking up another 20-25%, I watch a lot of TV. I nap. I try to get a bath in every day (Joel is super-helpful in this regard). We just started Geocaching, which is a really fun way to get out and exercise, but finding time for ME is tough, tough, tough!
This past weekend I picked up a knitting project for the first time in ages. If you don’t know me, you won’t know how strange it is for me to NOT be knitting, but I have only done two projects since Ayce was born. I started a pair of socks (toe-up) and knit about three inches. Even looking at it today makes me feel a sort of rush of accomplishment.
In my Christian walk I have often looked at others and been inspired and awed by their selflessness– their willingness to sacrifice of themselves for others. Right now I am living that sacrifice for Ayce and Joel, and I get a lot of praise for it, but I am seeing more and more the need to remove myself from my work and just be the Old Callie. To open my heart in prayer and meditation the way I do when I knit is a joy that I hadn’t felt in an embarassingly long time. I am grateful to my friend for the reminder.
What are you doing for yourself?